Being an Expat-Unknown expectations

Coming to a new country we have things that we know will be difficult.  Those are what we refer to as known expectations.  We know that the housing will be different, research and education by relocation or letting agents have set our expectations where they need to be. We know that banking may be different, that roads sign are new and we know that the grocery store won't have everything we are used to from home.  This we know.

After lunch yesterday with a seasoned expat I was reminded of the underlying things in expat life that we do not always acknowledge.  This woman qualifies as a seasoned expat since Sweden is certainly not her first expat assignement, there have been several tours in other European and Asian countries. This is what we refer to in the office as a seasoned expat.  Culture shock will be less in this group, the melancholy will be less than for the first time expat as this category have become seasoned in how to align their expectations. We had a lovely lunch and I asked her how she was settling in and if there had been anything that had surprised her in her first month as a resident.  Her response was "the expectations I did not know I had" and it was so poignant and a good reminder.  "The expectations I did not know I had" really sums up the emotional curve balls that come out of left field as an expat. I once planned an entire trip to Dubai around a Taco Bell visit. The hotel's location was determined by Taco Bell's proximity and for weeks I planned what I would order.  This is one of the things I missed terribly from my 16 years in the States.   I had not been back "home" to America in five years and this Taco Bell visit was much anticipated.

I knew that I would have culture shock in Dubai.  I am not a Muslim.  I don't speak Arabic.  I had never been there before. I expected to reflect over burkas. I expected to not be understood everywhere and I certainly expected to try new exotic food. The Taco Bell obsession was a symbol of yearning for the familiar, the fix that I had up my sleeve when the other culture shocks intensified.  However, the Taco Bell visit in Dubai Mall was a huge disappointment.  No 7-Layer Burrito on the menu and the Nachos Bellgrande did not taste anything like they do in the States.  This is a classic of the unknown expectations phenomenon.  In hindsight, it was probably a bit silly for me to expect that Taco Bell in Dubai would taste the same as in America but I was so sad and disappointed at the time that I had an unnatural reaction--I was close to tears.

As you settle into Sweden, keep in mind that easing into a new culture and society comes with curve balls and they usually come in the form of the things you had not even thought about in terms of ungrounding you.  Keep in mind, that the things that disappoint and irritate you the most as a recent expat to Sweden are probably the things you will miss the most when you go back home.  However, if you are an excellent Tex-Mex chef, please do open a restaurant in Stockholm.  I'll come every day!