The Swedish Rudeness

I used to say that I knew I had landed at Arlanda airport by the reception at the baggage belt. I am not a big girl but my bags usually are.  As I struggled to drag the largest bags allowed on international carriers off the baggage belt, falling backwards and nearly being buried underneath my heap of luggage, I would frantically look around for help only to by met by curiosity. If I was a mind reader, I'd say the thoughts that were running through my co-travelers minds were along the lines of "hmmm, I wonder if she will fall down or if she will conquer the luggage". Whenever, I was in the same situation in other countries, people would rush to my assistance. The fact that one should be able to manage one's own luggage perhaps is another debate all together but the bottom line to me remains: Why are Swedish people so rude?

You may already have encountered being shoved in the street by someone in a hurry.  Do not expect "sorry, didn't see you", you are more likely to get a glare that states "get out of my way already". A colleague nearly got assaulted after daring to voice "dude, are you serious?" to a man who cut an entire check-in cue at the airport. In other words, don't rock the boat.

Doors can often be slammed in your face because the person in front of you simply did not think of taking the time to hold it for you.  Your neighbors are not apt to come over and welcome you when you move in or say hi to you after living on the same street for quite some time.

So, the bottom line is,  are we an immensely rude culture? No, I do not think that we are.  However, we are taught a dichotomy from an early age. Self reliant man is strong ("Ensam man är stark") while also being taught that the State will take care of everything. Therefore, the mindset of shared responsibility is lost.  Whenever I broach this topic with my fellow countrymen the response is pretty unanimous: "we really don't mean to be rude". Most of my male friends explain that they would never help a woman with her luggage since they fear insulting her in the egalitarian nation that we have aspired to become. The same goes for holding up doors. Other explanations given are that they do not want to butt in, stick out, disturb or get involved. Many of my friends express that they like it when someone is extroverted and gets involved or reaches out but that they themselves don't feel comfortable going beyond the cultural norm.  Maybe we simply suffer from nationwide shyness?